Sarcasm is the blood in my creative veins. If I tell you that I want to rip out your jugular with a rusty clothespin, DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

How do you know for sure that I'm not going to go ballistic and shoot up my school?

heh.
You don't.

But you should at least know that I plan my murders well out in advance, and I only have 23 days of school left. So you're all safe.