Back From Another World

Back from vacation, had oh so sweet a time. More on that later.

This post is one that I really don't think I should make, but I will anyways. Its directed at one specific person, and for Joes sake I guess I'll just say who it is.

Lindsey Brunk.

Yup. Her. The ex girlfriend. Nows the part where I talk straight to her.

Lindsey, you have called me several times recently to see if I wanted to hang out with you. While sort of interested, I have to tell you I don't know about it. Its hard to even talk to you. Rarely a day has gone by since June where I haven't thought of you, and it kills me. Yes, I've moved on from us. I don't even want you back anymore. You went your way, I'm going mine, fine. Whatever. But theres still a decent part of me that you have.

I'm really not sure I want to get together with you at all. You hurt me more than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Breaking up hurt me more than my parents splitting up. I've let most of it all go, I've forgiven you for all that, but I sure can't forget what happened. I definitely don't need to have you on my mind when I leave for boot camp, either. Remembering the hardest time of my life isn't going to help me out at all. When I talk to you on the phone you sound like nothing ever happened and everything should be fine. Its not. Hell, it wasn't that long ago you said you never wanted to speak to me again.

But, on the other hand, if I don't hang out with you, I'll always wonder in the back of my mind why you even wanted to.

*sigh*