man I'm a jerk.

I'm sorry for things I didn't even try to do. I'm sorry for things I know that I will do in the future, but can't do anything about it. To those of you I have hurt, I feel bad about it; but lets face it, it'll probably happen again. For those of you I haven't hurt yet, I think your in denial and you should realize that I most definitely will at some point.

I'll let you down, I'll do something stupid, I'll disappoint you, I'll make you feel like a moron for trusting me. I'll go back on my word, then I'll lie about it and say I didn't. I'll lead you on to think something, and then throw it back in your face. Same old same old.

Its all good though, right? Every once in a while I'll make a joke that causes you to laugh. I'll make some digital point-and-click artwork, and make you think I'm talented. I'll try and be there for someone that I care about and try to be the good guy everybody likes.

woohoo, everybody.

Here I am, the fucking star of the show.
Turn on the spotlight and give me enough attention, and I'll do tricks till you die. Die of laughter or old age, that's your choice.

What a wonderful show do I have for you tonight.

Life is good...

Life is very good.

I go to sleep when I'm tired.
I wake up when I'm not tired anymore.
I eat when I'm hungry, I drink when I'm thirsty.
I go where I please, I come home when I feel like.
I spend money or save money, however I want to.
I don't go to church if I don't feel like it.
I play video games, or do work, whichever I choose.

and I have an awesome girlfriend, which by far tops everything else.

Damn I love this.

tried Sushi for the first time today.

Very interesting stuff. It kicked the shit out of my gag reflex.


Ok, now its time for another rant. I hate my situation here. Its only for the reason that I know I put myself in it. Happens every time, without fail. People get pissed at me cause I don't live up to their expectations, like I was really something all that great to begin with. I'm not a fucking superhero. I'm a moron just like every other guy she's met. I'm not who she thinks I am, and I'm sure as hell not as good as she deserves. Yeah, I put her off badly. Very badly. It had to have hurt, because otherwise I wouldn't be in this situation writing this. For that, I am sorry. For some reason, I feel bad that I don't live up to what she thought I was.

You know the rules.

"Expect nothing, and you will never be disappointed."


I definitely don't need to deal with difficult shit right now.

Going to Hershey Park today. Ought to be fun.
Going with Lindsey and her family.

yup.

definitely going to be fun. ;)

Her family (mom and sister) are pretty cool. I get along with them fairly well, and they're good fun to be around. That's definitely a good thing. As i was told, her mom might be a little apprehensive of me because I'm 2 years older than Lindsey, but I think that will pass in due time. Good stuff.

Well I am off to spend the day having fun, riding rollercoasters, and being with an amazing girl.

well hey, I guess its monsoon season now,
and nobody told me.

hold on a second and let me go get my rickshaw.


damn rain.

damn, what an asshole I must be.

........_________________________
......\\--- """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|]
...../_ ===______________bang.__|
.....),---.(_(___) /
....// (\) ) ,-----"
...// :::: //
..// :::: //
.."-------"

man I definitely don't want to deal with difficult shit right now.

As much as I want to, I can't help everyone with their problems. I'd like to be able to help you carry your burdens, but I have my own stuff to concentrate on for right now. I'll sit and listen as long as people want to talk to me, but I can't solve things for them.

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well, Deviantart version 4 is out, and it kicks ass. I hope all goes well for sunday. I need a good party to lift the spirits.

heh heh

good things are starting to happen to me again. ;)
certain people know what I am talking about.

well, I'll be waiting to update the layout of my blog until sometime later. I got held up with the images, and couldn't get them to code in right, so I'll be waiting until I have an entire afternoon to sit down and really work out all of the bugs. so it might be next week before there's any major change.

I'm going to be changing the layout of this site over the next few days.

Bear with me please as I give this thing a makeover.

must... post...

I just got Adobe Photoshop CS working, along with all the other plugins/brushes and whatnot. I switched Cinema 4D over to the new computer, and let me tell you, it renders twice as fast as on the old one. All my crap on the old computer is gonna take up about 12 CD-Rs, given the amount of data that's there. I also transferred all the fonts I had on the old computer over, which totalled about 1,240. Alot more than I thought I had.

Oh yeah.

And I found my mom in bed with another guy last night. I had to drop the van off at her house after hanging out in Lititz with Lindsey and Joe. The front door was open, so I figured I'd step inside for a bit. I started looking for a bathroom, but there wasn't one on the ground floor. I had to go upstairs. So I walk up the steps and what do I see in my mom's room? That she isn't alone.

Needless to say, I was pretty pissed.